Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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