thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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