She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
