Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
i've created a new STD.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
