nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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