so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
