I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so let's talk penis.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
