he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
