Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
