I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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