Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
