she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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