Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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