I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
