When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It's shark week go big or go home
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
