do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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