It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
