I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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