Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
