It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
