I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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