I can't watch pbs sober anymore
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
