ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
