So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
