You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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