My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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