He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
