this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
