it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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