Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
