i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
