if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
