yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
