So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
