Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
