I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
