wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
