don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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