he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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