But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
