You're completely useless in the revolution.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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