Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
