i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
birth control should be required to get into college
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize