You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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