Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
