I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
