Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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