Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
And then he peed in my hair
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