We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
