Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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