But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
