He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
