i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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