god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
