So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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