Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Who died my cat blue again?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize