Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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