Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
